Deja Vu

I took Ty for intergration screening on Thursday. This is basically a series of skills tests to see if he has any developmental delays. Sadly, he does. We went in knowing that he was delayed in speech and language, so that was not a real surprise. However, he also scored as having delays in fine motor (pencil grasp, bead stringing), and cognitive learning ( following instructions, understanding task instructions).

When we went through this process with Keegan, and got his test results, I came home and cried for three hours. This time I swore under my breath in 7 languages. (Talented, I know...) On the one hand, at least this time, I know what to expect, and generally what I have to do to get him on track. And with Ty, we are getting him in the system a whole year sooner than Keegan, so that can only be to his benefit. On the other hand, it is really, really sad. Especially since they want me to place Ty in a preschool immediately so he can access services.

I had intended on placing him a few mornings a week in the fall, so he could get socialized and ready for JK the following year. Ty is my last child. I wanted him at home so I could enjoy what is left of his "baby" years. I had Phoenix home until he was four. Keegan had to go to preschool at 3 1/2, and that was very hard for me. To have to put Tyger on a bus and send him away from me at such a tender age (for even a few mornings a week) is ripping my heart out. I know that it is what it best for him. I know that. But it doesn't make the decision any easier.

For all that I post about his horrible antics and hair-greying activities, he is my baby. I want him HOME. To put it in the most succinct way possible: this SUCKS.

Sigh.........................................

So today, I called the preschool to have him put on the entry list. I will hear back on Monday. In the meantime, I intend to spend every little second enjoying Ty in the 100% time we have together. Until I have to pass the reins. For a few hours a week.