Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Pain In My ASS!

OH! I have a pain in the ass! And for once, I am not referring to my husband or children. In a classically stupid and awkward move last night, I slipped getting out of the shower, and landed directly on my tailbone. Holy Mother of God! Such pain cannot be imagined. My legs went numb! I was lying there like a landed fish, naked as the day I was born, weeping onto the tiles and crying for Mark to come and help me.

Gave him the scare of his life, I think...of course, he scared the crap out of me by saying, "Maybe I should call an ambulance..." Oh yeah, right. Bad enough you're seeing me in this position. I'm not letting a bunch of medical technicians see my full moon!

I eventually made it to the couch, and Mark helped me dress. I felt like my 3 year old! Then I curled up awkwardly and went to sleep, hoping Ty wouldn't need me during the such luck. 2 hours later: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Uh, Uh, Uh, WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Crap! Another 1 1/2 hours later, same thing. And two hours after that. Normally I would have some degree of sympathy for a little guy in swollen gum agony of teething trials, but last night I was fresh out. Found myself saying such nastiness as, "For the love of God, Ty, if you wake me up one more time, I will--" well, I don't think I have to actually WRITE what I said, but suffice it to say, I felt enough residual guilt over it that I gave him a whispered apology for my bad-mother syndrome over breakfast (which began at the unholy hour of 6:00 am. Who are all of these lucky mothers whose kids sleep until 10:00? Never mind. If I know who you are, I'll have to hunt you down and hurt you...)

Anyway, I am going to sign off. I can't sit to type, and my back is hurting from bending over the keyboard. I appreciate any sympathy you can throw my way...sniff!

PS. HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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